Dear 29 year old me...
The world is not coming to an end because you will no longer be in your 20's! Your 20s were full of so much life and lessons learned. Your early twenties were filled of college life. You also experienced your first true loss at the age of 20, your grandpa Tjelmeland. This was a life changing experience and one that would teach you so many things you didn't realize until later in life.
At 21 you could finally drink legally! You also met Jon, moved back in with your parents, and graduated from college. At 22 you worked full time, became engaged, and bought a house (which you shared for 7 months with your parents)! At 23 you got married, took an amazing trip to Hawaii, and started to form what would be your new life with Jon. At 24 you learned life does not always work out the way you think. You had a miscarriage. You were broken.
Also at 24 you became pregnant and at 25 you gave birth to Reagan. Your eyes were now opened to a new world and you let go of what you had experienced. At 25 and 26 you learned there was a new level of love. You continued to work full time but were blessed to have Reagan with you. Also at 26 you were done with your job of 5 years. It was so bittersweet. You celebrated Reagan's first birthday (which was also the year anniversary of your miscarriage, you let go a little more).
At 26 you took a new job and were still able to be with Reagan for the majority of the time. You felt happy. At 27 you lost Jon's grandpa. It was a hard time for both of you, but you were there for Jon. You grew closer to him and his family during that time.
Also at 27 you found out you were pregnant. You made it through the first trimester and were excited for what was to come. You celebrated Reagan's 2nd birthday. Eleven days later you experienced your 2nd loss. At 16 weeks your water broke and you lost your child. It was intense with many unanswered questions and again you were broken. But you made it through.
Also at 27 you found out you were again pregnant. Your fear overtook your excitement for the better part of the pregnancy. At 28 you experienced a loss of a different kind. A niece. Although you didn't get to know her, she taught you so much. It was a hard time and again full of unanswered questions. You were so sad and so upset, but glad you could be there for the people who needed you.
At 28 you experienced preterm labor, bed rest, multiple trips to the hospital, and stretch marks. You gave birth to Kamryn and again found a new love. Life was looking up, and then life happened (again!). When Kamryn was 2 weeks old you experienced a loss on a new level. Your dear friend Karen was killed in a car accident. You will never forget that day or the months that followed. You were numb. Life had to keep going on and you had to find a way to keep going on. You were broken, but you didn't have time to put yourself back together. Too many people needed you- and you needed them. You celebrated Reagan's 3rd birthday. It was hard for you to try and focus with everything going on when her birthday came around. She was 3, she won't remember, but you will. Life was now different and you had to learn what your new life would be like. It was not easy, but you made it through.....you are making it through.
At 28 you realized (with the help of Jon) that you did not need the added stress of a job, so you didn't go back to work. It was a hard decision but one that was made easier after finding out your own boss did not keep a spot open for your own child. I think that was a sign for above! This was not an easy adjustment, but the right one.
At 29 things started to settle down...kind of.. You and Jon sold your home that you lived in for 7 years. It was bittersweet! You moved into a rental one house away and are beyond thankful for that (even though you complain sometimes). You stay home full time now (which is still an adjustment). You celebrated Kamryn's first birthday and Reagan's 4th. Reagan started preschool and for the first time in her entire life she is not with you all day. This was hard for you at first, but it is a good balance for the both of you. Kamryn keeps you on your toes and she is a little naughty. You have, learned to take more time for yourself which is not an easy thing for you. You are starting to love working out- weird- and you remind yourself how blessed you are. You are 29.... for 11 more days.
You learned a lot in your 20s. There is a lot things that didn't make this letter, weddings, nephews born, funny stories...etc... You have A LOT of memories from your 20s.. some are good, some are bad. Some things you wish to forget and others you wish you could have changed. The truth is these things have made you who you are. You have learned A LOT of valuable life lessons in your 20s and I am sure there will be a lot more in your 30s.
YOU ARE BLESSED!!! You have a wonderful husband who you love, two healthy, beautiful daughters at times can seem like a handful, but you wouldn't change it. A family who loves you, friends who are like family, and people you can count on. You are getting ready to build a house and make it a home for your family. (This is stressful for you, but relax and enjoy this process). You are finding new things you enjoy and are realizing some of the things you used to enjoy you don't as much any more. Now you just need to work on being ok with letting some of those things go.
You 30s are looking exciting already!
Beautiful. :)
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