Grab a kleenex... she is off to school!!

Today was the first day of preschool for Reagan. She was BEYOND excited to go and couldn't get there fast enough. Not gonna lie, it was a hard day for me! I was SO excited for her because I know how much she is going to love it. It is just hard to think for the first time in 4 years Reagan will not be with me all day. She has ALWAYS been where I am. I could see her any time I want. Now she is 6 blocks away, in a classroom with new friends, and no me... and I am pretty sure she could care less!!

 Cousin Michael wishing her a good first day!!

 She attends the Ballard Elementary Integrated 4yr. Old Preschool. It is located at the elementary school in Slater. She will go 4 days a week from 12:15 to 3:15. She had a WONDERFUL first day! Today she got the be the special helper and wear a birthday crown. We made cupcakes for snack and she was excited to share them with her new friends. Ms. Shanna, Reagan's teacher, is a friend of mine and has a daughter the same age as Reagan so I knew she would feel right at home. She asked if I had to hold her hand when walking in and if I would be leaving. After she found her coat hook, she hung up her bag and went to playing. She looked up at me and said you can go now... and I did :(!
Ms. Shanna said she had a wonderful day and she can't wait to go back tomorrow!!!

How did I get through the day you ask?  Shanon, Michael, Jacob, Kamryn, and I went to Old Navy! It made the time go fast!!  

Ahoy Matey's!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY REAGAN KIMBERLY REMSBURG!!

This year we celebrated on Reagan's actual birthday, Saturday , August 20!! She was very excited to have her party! Reagan chose to have a pirate birthday this year.  She was super excited when I told her I would make her a pirate ship cake. I spent a lot of time researching how to make a pirate ship. I combined a few things I read and came up with my own- I think it turned out good!

After hearing our theme our neighbor ran home and brought over a huge tote of pirate stuff! SCORE!! She had everything we needed and more! We had a blow up pirate, pirate bean bag toss, pirate photo ops, and treasures. We had the kids go on a treasure hunt for gold. They had all they needed- pirate hats, eye patches, maps, and compasses. They had a blast!!

We had a small gathering at our house. We couldn't have asked for a better day, it was so nice outside. Jon grilled hamburgers and hot dogs, we had potato salad, pasta salad, and chips. We finished off dinner with cake and ice cream!!

Reagan got a lot of nice gifts and was so thankful for everything she received. She truly appreciates anything she gets and I love that about her. I think Reagan had a wonderful time at her party and that makes me happy. I can't believe she is 4!!! Where did the time go. We Love you so much!!

Life goes on...

   I have been anticipating this time of year for a few weeks now and the memories that go with it. For so many reasons I feel like the last year has flown by and at times stood still. I have SO MUCH in my life that I am thankful for. But a part of me is still sad for the loss of my friend. It will be a year ago on Monday that she was killed in a car accident. 1 year.  Today would have been her & Mark's wedding anniversary, tomorrow she would be helping her daughter move to college where she is going to play soccer, she would have been laughing at her son while he played with Reagan, she would be smiling the biggest smile and she would be SO proud of her family. But her chair sits empty. I thought after a year I would be used to it, but I am not. I miss her. I miss talking to her and sharing things with her. I am sad that Kamryn never got to know her. I try to stay positive when Reagan talks about Karen in heaven, knowing she is happy there, but sad that she is not here. Sometimes I am just sad. I don't want my girls to remember Karen through sadness, but remember her for her love of life.
   I write sometimes, nothing big just for myself. But I wrote something that someday I hope to share with Reagan.  On August 6, 2010 we saw Karen for the last time. We went outside for a walk and they were getting ready to leave so they came over. We talked for a few minutes and they walked back to the car. On the way Karen said I love you Rea and blew her a kiss. I will cherish this memory forever as it is the last one I have. This is what I want Reagan to remember and someday tell Kamryn about. We explained to Reagan what happened (in a way a 3yr. old can understand) that Karen is now a star in the sky.


As I go to bed at night, I look up at the sky

I get ready to say my prayers, and then I ask Mommy why?
Why are you a star so bright and why are you not here?
Why don't I get to see you anymore, why are you way up there?
Where is Heaven I once said, not sure I really knew.
Mommy teared right up because it made her think of you.

I started to say my prayers and lay down in my bed
Mommy laid right next to me and gently rubbed my head
She said that when we look up into the sky so bright
You are a shining star that lights up all the night

We lay in bed and talk of you like you are still here
Mommy starts to cry and then she pulls me near
She kisses me on my head and wipes a tear from her eye
She said that she was sad that we didn't get to say goodbye

I wasn't sure what she meant but I knew one thing was true
My heart was filled with sadness because I was missing you too.
I held onto Mommy's hand and wiped the tear from her cheek
I kissed her on the head and then I started to speak

Don't be sad I said to her on the night so dark
I know that star is looking down and it is breaking her heart
Mommy sat right up and smile came across her face
Your right she said to me, She is in a magical place.

The last time that I saw you, you blew me one last kiss,
I didn't know it would be the last or how much you'd be missed.
I got to hear you say I LOVE YOU as you turned and walked away
I will hold that with me through every single day.

As I start to yawn there is one thing I must do.
I turn to my window and kiss my hand and blow it up to you!
Goodnight to my star up in the sky shining so very bright
I love you very much and send my kisses to you every night!