Tailgating Time!

Saturday was a busy day for me! It started with me getting up before the sun so I could walk in a 5k. It was in memory of my best friends cousin who passed away in February. I got to walk in memory of her and to help raise awareness of organ donation. It turned out to be a beautiful morning! After the walk I ran a few errands in Ames then got headed home. I came home, talked to Becki, sat down for 10 minutes with Reagan, then got ready to tailgate. It has been a long time since Jon and I have done a days worth of stuff without Reagan. We love her and want to be with her all of the time... But this was a day for us. We got tickets to the ISU vs. Army game from a good friend of ours who couldn't go. They were AWESOME seats! We got into Ames around 2 to get ready for the 6 o'clock game. We met up with different friends throughout the day...Ate, Drank, talked about everything under the sun, and enjoyed each others company! Here are a few pictures. You saw it here first, Jon in an Iowa State T-shirt... (He is a closet fan)
This is Leah and Danielle... They are my friends/co-workers. They are seniors at ISU. I was their "mom" away from home, but that made me sound to old so now I am their "Older, Wiser Sister"!

Me and Abbie! It is always a good time!!

It was a good game! We stayed through half time and since ISU was winning we headed to Pastimes in Huxley to watch the rest of the Iowa game. It was an awesome game! (Even though I am a Cyclone fan, I can still cheer for the Hawks! I am a good sport!) We got home at 11 and went to bed! It was a beautiful day outside, fun day with friends, and nice to spend some time with Jon where we aren't chasing Reagan. It was just what I needed after a up and down week! And to top it all off- ISU won!!

Where's Reagan?

Today Reagan fought me to take a nap because she was SO tired. I laid with her until I thought she was asleep. I went downstairs to walk on the treadmill and I heard her crying for me. I decided to finish my walk and then go get her. She had stopped crying and I knew she was tired so I wasn't in a hurry. When I opened the door this is what I saw:

She was sound asleep in the middle of everything! The pile consisted of: 5 pillows, 6 stuffed animals, lots of books, a pair of shoes, 3 pictures frames, her sheet and comforter, two sippy cups with water (not sure where one came from?), and some clothes. It took me a minute to figure out where she was when I opened the door. I knew she was tired!! I ran downstairs and got my camera. I quietly shut the door behind me while I was laughing. When Reagan woke up I went upstairs to get her and she was sitting in the middle of everything and said:

"Mommy, yook at this mess!!"

I need more days like this...

It has been a long couple of weeks full of lots of bad/sad news (more on that later, maybe) So yesterday I decided to do everything with Reagan. I wanted to spend time with her doing the things she loves. So I woke her up from her nap and away we went:

• She got a juice box and crackers in the car
• We stopped to see daddy at work where she got a sucker
• We played at a new park (new to her) in Ankeny with some friends for over an hour
• We ate supper at McDonald's- Chicken Nuggets, French Fries, Apples, and Orange Hi-C
• Sang songs in the car
• Stopped at Dairy Queen in Huxley and got a carmel sundae- Reagan fed me most of it, but was smiling and happy the entire time we were there. She talked to EVERYONE!
• Took a bath with LOTS of bubbles and water- spent extra time in the bath coloring with water crayons and making a big mess
• Played tea party downstairs
• Put stickers all over anything they would stick to
• Cuddled up in Reagan's bed and watched a movie

I needed this day. I am sure I needed it more than Reagan. She smiled, laughed, ran, ate good, and gave me lots of hugs...everything I needed to have!

It's Official.. She is growing up!

I can't believe it, but Reagan is officially a BIG GIRL!! Jon and I decided getting Reagan into her big girl bed would be a nice distraction from everything else and also give us something to do for Reagan. Saturday morning my dad came down and got Reagan for the day. While Jon was at work I sorted all of Reagan's clothes, cleaned out her closet, sorted toys, and vacuumed. When Jon got home we took down the crib ( :(, there was no going back!) and got the bed set up. Here is what it looked like before Reagan saw it: When we went to get Reagan we talked about her surprise... She was so excited to see it...

Anticipation..on her way to see her big girl bed!

"Cheese! I Love my Big Girl Bed!"

She loved it! She was so excited when she walked in her room... Her smile was so big it melted my heart. She climbed right in and jumped around. She didn't want to get out and take her bath. After her bath we all laid in Reagan's big girl bed (As she keeps calling it). We read some books and she went to sleep....ahhhh.... we made it through the night. She didn't even try to get out, she didn't want to get out when she woke up!

Reagan and her sleeping buddies: Bear (the brown bear), Plopper (the puppy), Nemo, Kitty, and Vincent (the black bear). (Missing from the photo were "B" and Blankie)

Hard times...

In this past week life has been very hard. You think you have everything figured out, and then out of the blue something happens and before you know it your life is turned upside down and you don't know where to go or what to do...but eventually you pull yourself together and take a deep breath and get back up...

This is my outlet and my way to heal... A week ago Jon and I lost our baby. It is something I thought I would never experience, let alone to experience it twice. I have thought about why this happened, why us, why again....but that gets me nothing. So I am choosing to look at it this way.. I went through this before, and as hard as it was I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change it because then we wouldn't have Reagan....So if this is what has to happen to for us to have another healthy baby, then someday I will say I wouldn't change it. But for now, it hurts and sucks. For now I hold Reagan closer and thank God for blessing us with her. I know that some people don't even get that, so I consider myself extremely lucky.

I am so blessed to have a wonderful husband who has been my rock and support while we go through this together. We are SO blessed to have Reagan who has been our ray of sunshine in these dark days. We are blessed to have the love and support of great family and friends. All of the thoughts and PRAYERS have helped us...I truly believe everything happens for a reason and one day this will all make sense.

We have two little angels in heaven and to them I say:

I have known you in my dreams little ones, and there you will forever be loved...I will hold you in my heart forever!

Time....it will just take time.....

In these hard days, this is my best medicine...