Hard times...

In this past week life has been very hard. You think you have everything figured out, and then out of the blue something happens and before you know it your life is turned upside down and you don't know where to go or what to do...but eventually you pull yourself together and take a deep breath and get back up...

This is my outlet and my way to heal... A week ago Jon and I lost our baby. It is something I thought I would never experience, let alone to experience it twice. I have thought about why this happened, why us, why again....but that gets me nothing. So I am choosing to look at it this way.. I went through this before, and as hard as it was I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change it because then we wouldn't have Reagan....So if this is what has to happen to for us to have another healthy baby, then someday I will say I wouldn't change it. But for now, it hurts and sucks. For now I hold Reagan closer and thank God for blessing us with her. I know that some people don't even get that, so I consider myself extremely lucky.

I am so blessed to have a wonderful husband who has been my rock and support while we go through this together. We are SO blessed to have Reagan who has been our ray of sunshine in these dark days. We are blessed to have the love and support of great family and friends. All of the thoughts and PRAYERS have helped us...I truly believe everything happens for a reason and one day this will all make sense.

We have two little angels in heaven and to them I say:

I have known you in my dreams little ones, and there you will forever be loved...I will hold you in my heart forever!

Time....it will just take time.....